While surfing the net, I found this site with 248 ways to annoy people. Come pretty handy, I would say. It’s quite amusing.
Here are a few of them:
- Specify that your drive-thru order is “to go.”
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”
- Name your dog “Dog.”
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
- Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
- Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
- Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.
- Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s backpacks.
- Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
- Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.
- Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
- Tape pieces of “Sweating to the Oldies” over climatic parts of rental movies.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat everything someone says as a question.
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